After recently returning home from Holiday in the Costa Del Sol with 12 fellow Scots, I've come to realise we are all guilty as a Nation of doing the following things abroad ...
1) Drinking
On the way to the airport, at
the airport "Spoons", on the plane, when we land at our final destination and
pretty much just don’t stop the whole holiday.
2) Eating
From sampling the local scran to
a hearty hungover fry-up every afternoon at the Scottish bar round the corner from the
Aparthotel.
3) Phoning home to ask what the weathers like
We can’t help ourselves really.
We need to know if we picked the right week to go abroad or if it’s Costa del
Glasgow back home.
4) Complain it’s too hot
The phrase, “I cannae dae it” gets repeated
after lying out in the sun for 10 minute intervals or so before diving head first
into the pool in the attempt to cool down. We soon forget what rain and wind feel like.
5) Getting lost
“I’m sure our hotel’s just round
this corner… Hmmm, maybe it’s the next one? Or the next one? Or was it back that way? Nah, I’ve never seen this bit, about turn
lads!”
This almost always turns into an argument within your group, with someone taking a strop complaining they knew this wasn't the right way the entire time, even though they never said so a few streets back...
6) Getting burnt
Factor 30’s like wearing a
Jacket but it’s much safer than the factor 8 tanning oil. Yet, we still opt with
the oil and end the first few days with multi-coloured, stripey, sore-to-the-touch skin and seeking
shade the last few days in regret.
7) Getting turnt
Finding the local “dancin” and
some decent pubs on night #1 and having a belter of a time, which no other
night lives up to regardless of how hard you try.
8) Butchering the language / Learning the lingo
“Ou est le KFC?” and “Una
Ginebra y limon, por favour” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it in a broad Scottish
accent pronouncing every letter very slowly, as if the locals will understand
you better. Also, “Hola” makes it into your daily vocabulary even when you
return home.
9) Meeting someone ye know from home that’s yer da’s
cousin’s best pal that used to work in your local Greggs
The World really is a small
place.
10) Getting a (shite) tattoo
Whether it’s on a dare or after
one too many vodkas it seems like a good idea to head to the local tattoo
parlour and come home with that top banter Holiday quote or a symbol which you
now question really does mean “Strength” in Japanese.
Stace x
